Dave the Normal Guy

Dave had been walking down to the deli for his lunch break when the vampire leapt in front of him.

“I vill suck your blood and transform you into my eternal groom,” she declared.

“Oh, great,” Dave said. “That’s just fantastic. But could you not? I’m kind of in the middle of something.”

The vampire raised an exquisitely crafted eyebrow. “You don’t look like you’re doing anything.”

“Well, I am on my lunch break. But when I’m done I have to go back to work and continue the project I’m working on right now.”

“I’m sure it’s not important,” she said dismissively. “I need to you lead my army of darkness.”

“See, I’m sure that would be lovely,” Dave told her, “but I’ve been through stuff like that before and it never ends well. I’d really rather just keep working at the company. I’ve got a good thing going there.”

“But my love-” protested the vampire.

“And another thing,” he said sternly. “I’m not your love. I’ve never met you before today. I don’t even know your name.”

“My name is-”

“I don’t care what your name is, either.” Dave sighed and glanced at his watch. “Look, I’m sure you’re very nice, and I hope that your army-of-darkness thing works out. But this kind of thing happens to me a lot and I’m getting a little fed-up with it.”

“But vhere vill I find a new husband?” protested the vampire. “He must fit the ancient prophecy! You are the only one!”

Dave glanced around. “How about that guy?” he suggested, pointing.

“He doesn’t fit the prophecy,” she said crossly.

Dave shrugged. “Prophecies are usually bunk, I doubt it’ll make any difference.”

The vampire regarded him appraisingly. “He is rather handsome,” she admitted, turning back to Dave. “But I’m sure you’d be able to do it better.”

“Yeah, probably,” Dave admitted. “But I don’t want to. He has been staring at you since you stepped onto the street.”

The vampire relented. “Fine, I’ll try him. But if it doesn’t vork out, I’m coming back to you.”

“Sure, whatever,” he said dismissively. The vampire began walking towards the other man as Dave finally entered the deli to get his lunch, where he declined the inheritance of an ancient magical blade, refused to go defeat an evil warlord, and convinced an old wizard that he was looking for someone else.

Launched Patreon Page

I’ve launched a Patreon page! If you really like what I do you can now give me money for it. You can get to see in-progress chapters  and my plans for the plot, too.

Please don’t feel that you have to support me though Patreon if you don’t want to, though. Everything there will eventually be here as well, if you just wait and keep reading. Patreon is completely optional and you won’t be missing much if you don’t donate.

Within a Glass Sphere

“Dr. Gammet, the data from the Hubble Telescope is finished downloading – I have it here.”

“Thank you, Higgins.” Frank Gammet took the flash drive that the young intern offered him in a long-fingered hand, and turned to insert it into his computer. “Isn’t this exciting, John?” he said to the screen. “Finally, images from the very beginning of the universe itself!”

“Oh, I suppose a little,” John Adelman said, his image carried from the other side of the planet to be displayed on Frank’s screen. “It’s not as though we don’t know what to expect, though.”

Frank shrugged as the data from the flash drive was transferred over to his computer. “When the Higgs Boson was found, that was exciting, wasn’t it? Even though it behaved exactly like everyone thought it would.”

“True,” John agreed. “I’m sure my brother will make an even bigger deal over this, though.”

Frank chuckled. “Just because Chris is the Prime Minister of England doesn’t mean he controls the press, you know. And they sensationalize everything anyway.”

“I don’t mean in the media,” the older astrophysicist clarified. “I mean in person. He doesn’t understand this kind of thing very well, will probably think that we’ll be able to make a new universe with this data or something silly like that.”

Frank chuckled, then fell silent.

“Frank?”

“Making a new universe…” he mused. “Now there’s a thought…”

“Frank, you’re babbling,” John said. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Just a little one, obviously, but…”

“Frank…”

Frank blinked, then smiled at John. “Think about it,” he said. “We have a better understanding of how the universe began than ever, with these new images.” He gestured at the images which now filled his screen, and would be visible on John’s as well. “What if it was possible to replicate it, only on an infinitely smaller scale? Something we could look at and watch. It would be an amazing tool for generations to come.”

John considered it. “Assuming it’s even possible, which is a big assumption…”

“I’ll grant you that.”

“Then it’s something that should be pursued.”

Dr. Frank Gammet and Dr. John Edelman spoke to friends of theirs, who spoke to colleagues, who began to form a group, and at the next International Astronomical Convention, three years later, the group presented their idea.

They were led to speak with members of the theoretical physics community, who began to ponder. Twenty years after that, the problem was passed on to members of the experimental physics community, who pursued and obtained funding for the project. It wasn’t long before construction began on the new machines needed for the experiment.

Finally, forty-nine years to the day after the Hubble Telescope’s pictures were delivered, an aged Dr. John Adelman pressed the button to begin the experiment. He dedicated it to Dr. Frank Gammet, who had passed away three years earlier, never to see his dream completed.

The massive machines hummed, the turbines whirred, and steam billowed from the spigots. Everyone’s attention was focused on the large glass sphere, three-meters in diameter on the inside edge and nearly five inches thick, within which the results of the experiment – a Big Bang in miniature – would be seen.

Nothing happened.

“How disappointing,” commented John after nearly a minute of silence, running a hand through his gray hair. “You know, I always did think this was a bit mad.”

The machine was dismantled, the giant glass sphere rolled into a basement. People tried to forget about the great, failed experiment.

Thirty years later, however, a janitor cleaning in the basement of Harvard University, where the sphere had ended up, noticed that it was glowing. In fact, there was a tiny pinprick of light in the exact center of the sphere.

A professor was called to examine it, then one of the physicists who had been part of the experiment, and they eventually declared that the experiment had not been a failure after all, that it had simply taken time for light to propagate through the edges of the little universe. The sphere was brought out and began to be examined.

It did not take long to decide, however, that little could be learned from the sphere. It was placed in display as a triumph of science, and occasionally people came not to stare at the slowly expanding pinprick of light within the sphere but to experiment. Mostly, however, the implications of an entire universe contained within the glass sphere was lost on its owners.


13.8 billion years later, within the glass sphere…

“Dr. Gammet, the data from the Hubble Telescope is finished downloading – I have it here.”

“Thank you, Higgins.” Frank Gammet took the flash drive that the young intern offered him in a long-fingered hand, and turned to insert it into his computer. “Isn’t this exciting, John?” he said to the screen. “Finally, images from the very beginning of the universe itself!”